when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
