i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
