Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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