can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
