did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
