if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
