i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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