Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
