i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
