So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
