So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
