East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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