Whod you bang
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
