she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
