I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
