So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
