My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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