i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
