She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
