i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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