I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
