I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
