I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my shit smells like andre
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
