four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
