I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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