Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Damn victory sex feels great
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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