dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
