He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
