Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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