WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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