hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
not ubering you a puppy
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
