Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
