Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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