Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
