I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
