...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
