my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
