i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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