Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
