I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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