dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
