drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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