he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
