He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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