Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize