And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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