he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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