If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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