Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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