When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
