you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
