I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
