guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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