The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
