Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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