Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
