I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
