You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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