We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
