Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize