she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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