maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
